to Look at a Trash Compactor Repairman Game.

So, I'm readin 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?', and the introduction written by Roger Zelazny begins with three and a half ways to look at a trash compactor repairman. He gave up... I would type the introduction here, but i'm too lazy and my fingers keep tripping over themselves and I'm having trouble getting the words to form right on the computer... I thought it would be fun to play! (: Here are my thirteen ways to look at a trash compactor repairman:

1) Once there was a man who repaired trash compactors because he needed an exorbitant amount of money to pay off the hitman he was planning to hire to kill his drug-addicted wife that was bleeding his bank account dry and sucking out his very soul with her shrill and hurtful words.

2) Once there was a man who invited himself into strangers’ homes while he was sleeping and repaired their trash compactors. He did so because when he was young, his father abused him and he found that repairing household appliances was the only way to cope with his terrible home life, but he now has to work in a cramped office that smells of sweat and old fish fourteen hours a day, so he has no time to work on the trash compactors except when he’s sleeping.

3) Once there was a trash compactor repairman who desperately needed to get away from the life he so deeply abhorred. He spent so much time trying to save up for his eventual escape that he worked himself to death. After he died, his three greedy children fought over his accumulated fortune ‘til the middle child went insane and shot and killed his siblings. He is now in prison, and the trash compactor repairman’s fortune was used to buy a shiny, red car for his lawyer.

4) Once there was a trash compactor repairman who repaired trash compactors because he got some sort of sick sexual pleasure from the sound of whirring gears and crushing garbage. He quite often beat off to the newly repaired machines… One day he went a bit far and actually attempted to copulate with the contraption… The woman whose trash compactor he was repairing called the police… He spent his last days in the mental institution repairing and disrepairing the same trash compactor day after day, and beating off to it…

5) Once there was a trash compactor repairwoman who repaired trash compactors because she had four illegitimate children and there was no father figure to support them, so she needed to or else the CPS people would steal them away from her. She loved her children with all of her heart and she couldn’t bear to be without them, even if it did mean working a shit job for fifteen hours a day, six days a week for hardly any pay at all. She did regret her relations with the men who fathered her kids, but she never regarded her kids as “mistakes,” merely “happy accidents.”

6) Once there was a trash compactor repairdog who was a super genius compared to all the other dogs in the world. (How many dogs you know can repair a trash compactor?)

7) Once there was a trash compactor repairman who repaired trash compactors because he liked to in a completely non-sexual way. He worked until he was 83 years old, and then he retired. He did at the age of 97. He was a very happy man.

8) Once there was a man who repaired trash compactors for his father’s trash compactor company. He didn’t care if his job was awful and paid little because he had the most amazing woman in his grasp. They were scheduled to get married in three months time.
The wedding was beautiful, and they lived happily ever after.

9) Once there was a man who repaired trash compactors for his father’s trash compactor company. He didn’t care if his job was awful and paid little because he had the most amazing woman in his grasp. They were scheduled to get married in three months time. He absolutely adored her! But one day he came home early from work to surprise her with a nice dinner at one of the nicer restaurants in town, the best one he could afford, and he walked in on her and another man copulating in their bedroom. He left her without another word and moved to another city where he never again laid a finger on a trash compactor. He eventually came out as homosexual and became an avid gay rights activist. He also never spoke to his father again.

10) Once there was a trash compactor repairman who came from a long line of trash compactor repairmen. His great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grand father had been George Washington’s own personal trash compactor repairman. He was also a lover of cats.

11) Once there was a man who did not repair trash compactors, but he disassembled them and turned them into modern art. His most famous piece was his fifteenth trash compactor sculpture and he created it to look like Mother Teresa.

12) Once there was a trash compactor repairman who had worked for the same company for thirty years before he was replaced by a trash compactor repairrobot. He wasn’t able to find work anywhere else because he knew only how to repair trash compactors and everyone had hired a robot to do the job instead of the hard working humans, so they no longer needed trash compactor repairmen. He was very near the point of suicide when the sun peaked out from behind the clouds and an unexpected visitor came to his house. It was his old boss asking him to return to work. He explained that the trash compactor repairrobots were rather unreliable and tended to break down. The man returned to work the following Monday as a trash compactor repairrobot repairman. He lived happily ever after.

13) Once there was a trash compactor repairman. He repaired trash compactors because that’s the job the Communist government in his country had assigned to him. He didn’t like it; he didn’t dislike it. He just did as he was told. He repaired trash compactors.




Feel free to play, too! ^^